Double Booked

Yikes, I have double booked myself. In the same weekend I am supposed to be at a show, I am also supposed to be on a retreat. I wonder how I do these things. You may think I am just a total space case, but there may a reason to my madness.

In addition to being a mom, wife, animal care taker, potter, house maintainer, vehicle maintainer, and child chauffeur, I am also the mom of a child with special needs. This is a development which has come into focus in just last few years.

All those times I have looked at moms who have kids that have "special needs", I always felt for them, but never understood. Unfortunately, I am now walking in those shoes. While my child is wonderful, and surprises me frequently, it has added to our everyday life "schedule" which is the least of the places this has impacted our family. But in case you might be curious, I will share that in addition to school, after school activities, community commitments, friends, family, and church, my special needs child also has a minimum of 5-7 scheduled appointments every week with various specialists that are on our "team".

Creating this "team" could be the subject of its own separate text book.

So, not to be looking for sympathy, for those who have been on the receiving end of our cancellations, realize that lives can be more complicated than they appear on the outside.

So, I double booked in a big way. I feel really awful, again. The show I committed to is actually one I encouraged and requested through a local organization. They adopted the idea and have run with it. For my part, I was to attend and I wanted to donate my proceeds to their organization. While I have other shows that I could attend and then donate to this organization from them, I really wanted to be there in person.

Now, the tough part. Deciding what to do. Back out, but out of which commitment? I cannot tell you how many times I have had to say "backing out" "sorry we can't make it after all" "we really wanted to come, but just can't this time around" "thanks so much for thinking of us, it sounded so fun, but we just have to pass".

Between illness, scheduling, and just sheer exhaustion, this has become a mantra lately. So has "sucks to be me".

No, I am not feeling sorry for myself, or am I looking for sympathy, I just wish the stars would align correctly for a period of time so I can at least focus to keep my schedule straight!